And apparently, my mom and sister hadn’t noticed. After dinner was cleaned up, I’d gone into the family room, pulled out the GameCube and started to play some Smash Bros. After finishing a fight, I got up to go to the bathroom at the other end of the cottage, not really paying attention to fact that Mom and Rheta were giggling in the sunroom as I walked by my bedroom.
It was as I was coming back that I heard the words that would ultimately change our family forever. “Do you think Henry liked the display we gave him today?” I heard Mom ask, being quite flirtatiously playful.
“That’s disgusting Mother,” Rheta said. “I can’t believe you conned me into dressing so trashy in the first place, let alone that brazen display pulling our chairs to his.” This shocked me to my core: not only had they displayed themselves on purpose, but they’d done it to tease me. “My skin is still crawling from having his eyes on me like that.”
“You’re the one who said he had a big dick after you saw him sneaking out to go skinny dipping the other night. I believe your exact words were ‘fuck my brother’s got a huge cock!’ before you asked me if I’d seen how thick he is.” I didn’t even know my sister knew such language. “So, I simply offered up a way to kill two birds with one stone: see if he’s gay by giving him an eyeful, hoping that he’d give us one as well.” Wait, how long had Mom thought I was gay?
“That’s disgusting Mom,” Rheta reiterated. “He shouldn’t be turned on by his mom and sister, it’s just wrong.”
“Says the girl who went and jilled herself to a massive orgasm after she saw her brother’s supposedly huge cock.”
“I-I-I did no such thing,” Rheta tried to defend herself. Even without seeing her I could tell that she was blushing, which meant she was lying. Holy shit, my sister had gotten off to thoughts of me.
“Your screaming in pleasure as you cried ‘Yes BIG brother!’ woke me up. I had half a mind to make sure the two of you weren’t actually fucking, but after only hearing you for thirty seconds, I figured you were alone. So, I let you be; no need to make things awkward.”
“No, this isn’t awkward at all. What’s awkward about talking with my mom about masturbating to thoughts of my brother; while she goes on about how loud I am, while also bringing up schemes to have him show us his boner without asking for it directly, because that would be just slightly awkward.” As awed as I was by this conversation, the way Rheta just said this, every word dripping sarcasm, was making me double over with silent laughter.
“You’ve been wanting to have these types of conversations ever since your brother got into a fight with that Duque boy back in March. When your crush on him began.” Wait, Rheta had a crush on me? (Quick summary, that Duque boy was in the year ahead of Rheta and I and had been bothering her since the end of Christmas break, trying to get her to go out with him. When she’d rejected him for the who knows how many-eth time, he’d gotten physical with her, demanding she go out with him. Upon seeing this, I did what any brother would do and started beating on him like a madman. We both were suspended for a week for the fight.)